Be Open
What does it mean to “be open”?
For 2, Barbara is talking about acceptance. Not suppressing thoughts that contain expectations and judgements but rather watching such thoughts arise in the mind and letting them pass. Not “attaching” to them. You connect to your self as the observer within the mind. As the observer of your self you note your reactions with curiosity/interest, “oh when x occurs, I see that I feel whatever and think whatever. Interesting.” You also accept whatever reactions you observe in yourself without judging yourself or wishing for something different from yourself. Of course if you do have thoughts arise, you observe those too “oh interesting how I judged my reaction there and wished I didn’t have that reaction.” Or “oh look I just felt ashamed of myself right there. Fascinating.” You get the idea. Your intent is to observe with interest what’s happening without judging or identifying with feelings that close you down. You identify with the you that is the interested curious observer of you. The other thoughts and feeling that arise are then not “the observer you” but rather events you are watching to gain insight into your inner workings. That’s the meditation. Its a focus on being the observer. Buddhist’s speak of detachment. To me this means standing apart from your thoughts and feelings, watching them as if they are an other. Not attaching and identifying with them as myself, but rather just occurrences that I am a witness and a student of. Joseph Goldstein on a meditation in Dan Harris’ 10% Happier app speaks of “standing behind the waterfall” where the waterfall is the thoughts and feelings that flow through you.
I think a concept of “self” has utility in that by identifying and attaching to a “self” you more effectively organize actions and efforts around motivations in pursuit of being that self. So for me “detachment” is about detaching from my inner experience as being “me” and attaching to the me that is the curious observer and student of this inner experience. Attaching to the part of me that is a kind, accepting “parent” of those other parts.
I think meditation and mindfulness are a mental discipline that require effort and focus. I think the image of an observer “self” has utility and identifying with that as the goal means you are “attaching” to that even as you detach from the rest that you are observing.
- Be mindfully aware
- Rid your mind of expectations and judgements (this is a tall order!)
- Give yourself permission and time to experience the richness of the present moment (how?)
For 2, Barbara is talking about acceptance. Not suppressing thoughts that contain expectations and judgements but rather watching such thoughts arise in the mind and letting them pass. Not “attaching” to them. You connect to your self as the observer within the mind. As the observer of your self you note your reactions with curiosity/interest, “oh when x occurs, I see that I feel whatever and think whatever. Interesting.” You also accept whatever reactions you observe in yourself without judging yourself or wishing for something different from yourself. Of course if you do have thoughts arise, you observe those too “oh interesting how I judged my reaction there and wished I didn’t have that reaction.” Or “oh look I just felt ashamed of myself right there. Fascinating.” You get the idea. Your intent is to observe with interest what’s happening without judging or identifying with feelings that close you down. You identify with the you that is the interested curious observer of you. The other thoughts and feeling that arise are then not “the observer you” but rather events you are watching to gain insight into your inner workings. That’s the meditation. Its a focus on being the observer. Buddhist’s speak of detachment. To me this means standing apart from your thoughts and feelings, watching them as if they are an other. Not attaching and identifying with them as myself, but rather just occurrences that I am a witness and a student of. Joseph Goldstein on a meditation in Dan Harris’ 10% Happier app speaks of “standing behind the waterfall” where the waterfall is the thoughts and feelings that flow through you.
I think a concept of “self” has utility in that by identifying and attaching to a “self” you more effectively organize actions and efforts around motivations in pursuit of being that self. So for me “detachment” is about detaching from my inner experience as being “me” and attaching to the me that is the curious observer and student of this inner experience. Attaching to the part of me that is a kind, accepting “parent” of those other parts.
I think meditation and mindfulness are a mental discipline that require effort and focus. I think the image of an observer “self” has utility and identifying with that as the goal means you are “attaching” to that even as you detach from the rest that you are observing.